Building Resilience After a Failed Relationships. An Alpha Male Guide to Focus and Staying Healthy.

 

Resilience refers to the ability to bounce back or recover from setbacks, challenges, or adversity. It involves adapting positively to difficult situations, learning from experiences, and developing the strength to cope with and overcome life's inevitable difficulties. Resilience is not about avoiding stress or hardships but rather about developing the capacity to navigate through them in a healthy way.

While I was working as a business manager of a multinational company, I found it very much easier to achieve many of the company goals and objectives. Also achieving my own personal set goals and aspirations. The reason being in that nothing on earth bother me. I was single and I place my career as my top priority. Relationships and dating were like second to none.

When it comes to hiring new staff or employees, I see Human Resource guys trying to separate married and single people in their screening process. I asked reason for this. I was informed they need someone who is going to pay attention to detail. They need a single candidate who have less responsibility and passion for the work. The ideas behind their methodology of recruiting are that people who are marry may not give their best in the workplace. As their attention may be divided. While this is not always true. I think when a man is married. He should even be motivated well to do more work to settle bills and take good care of the family.

Why do some men loose attention while at work?

Yes. Men work for them to survive. To be relevant in the society in which they co-exist. To take care of the family and more. Being an experience manager, I see men making several mistakes at work. Some are forgetting their official credentials or details. We must be calling the attention of the IT guys to do password reset every Monday especially. We are not trying to be defensive. I am writing a content that would benefit men for them to impact the society.

Our findings when we see men not being productive at work shown that they are not happy at home. It became more worst when they are even working in a toxic environment in addition with having a toxic boss and people around. My colleague sometimes forgets to tie belt to work. Sometimes they forget their tie at home. And some other times they have several bruises on their faces without wanting tell anyone. And at some point, they have their phone screen broken all in the name of marrying or staying with wrong partner. And all kind of echoes would keep playing on their head while at work.

A man that is in a toxic relationship may find it hard to produce meaningful quota at work. He would not be able to concentrate. For every time he checks his phone. It is either text messages of insult from his partner or a call of yelling of conflict from the wife. And this woman fails to reason it this way; that this man is at his place of work where the bill at home is being financed.

What is the best way to handle a Toxic partner?

Dear men, we know that you must safeguard your mental health. But a woman insulting you is not enough to bring up a debate. Learn to manage this. You must be proactive. You must learn how to feed behaviors. You must have good emotional and social intelligence. You must be leader in your approach to managing this gender. She doesn’t cook well is not enough too. There are many behaviors of the opposite gender that are worth tolerating. Learning to ignore. Acknowledged them. Let Silence Become Your Self Care

I have work in customer service environment for years. And I must say that insult, abuse, and violence came from irate customers. I manage them well. I educate my team mate to follow suit. Why should I insult back? The business pays my salary as when due. And when I collect the salary, I praised myself that I have done so well. We should look at the opposite Gender like a customer. Seriously, by so doing we would be at peace with self!

Can you forgive cheating in a relationship and or marriage?

Really up to this time. I am still yet to understand the meaning of cheating. And what a cheating partner looks like. But one meaning that I know quite alright is our ability to be decent. Our ability to have a culture of discipline. To know what is good and what is not good. Learning to be contented and staying away from bad influence. Every human has a free will. Cheating is a wide phenomenon. But if you must cheat. Cheat. But don’t be caught! And remember the safety of your partner. There are many Sexually Transmitted Disease (STDs and even STI’s).

An Alpha male should learn to forgive every bad behavior from the opposite sex. But is it right to forgive an act indecency like having a multiple sexual partner? If you do, that means you have a low self esteem and you doom to see more of it. By letting go of a cheating mate means you have a high self-esteem. And your priorities peace over crisis.

Say no to domestic violence dear men!

I dislike this! I don’t know who else does too. Every Alpha male reading this should never raise hand on a woman. Do not engage yourself in fighting someone’s own daughter. Domestic violence is not good at all. Relationship is not a must do. When it is not working, it is not working. Be patience with the process. Address the party involve. If it is not bringing the true reflection in, you that you want. You might need to call it quit for safety. Everyone parties must protect their mental health.

How do you approach life after Divorce, separation and break up?

Dear men, failed marriage just like a failed career is not the end of the world. You are not the first person that have witnessed divorce. Many celebrities, public figures and personality have had their own share. People break up and they still pick up. Some break up and found their own voice like hosting talk show online.

It is not right for you to break up and lay down on bed thinking about what curve life has thrown to you. I know it can be scary sometimes loosing someone and especially when you separated from your kids that hurt so much. Sometimes you pretend it doesn’t by taking liquor and cigarettes. And when you wake up in the morning the pain persists.

Divorce doesn’t stop you from going towards your goals. You can still do more and be more with the right mindset and mentality.

What ever leaves your life has a reason. People come to our life for a reason and sometimes for a season. Sometimes we lose and sometime will learn.

This is the best time for you to brush up your skills. Learn new skills online. Work on your career. Stay fit by exercising your own body. Don’t hold yourself to too much blaming. Forgive yourself and laugh at your own decision. This is a phase, and the phase would go. Once bitten is twice shy. Avoid toxic people at all means.

Be positive and take good care of your mental and physical health. No one would come to do this for you. It is your responsibility to do.

You can still find true love.

“Divorce doesn’t disqualify me from dating again…”. Said Kenny Lattimoore

The only way to get rid of your heart is to love again. When you love again you can live again Richard Mofe-Damijo

You can still find true love despite all odds. It is about working on yourself and take time to reach to community of men online where you can read inspiring stories of other men. It can also start from here.

The Good Men Project

We all know how divorce can change the look of men. Picking up could take sometimes. But we should never allow the experience to weigh us down.

Regardless of whether you are truly in love or not in love with person you break up. Every separation as it own pain. Like my friend shared on his experience. He said he no single feelings of attachment for his partner as part of what he has budgeted for in life. He flows with a woman who feel that she is genuine want to be with him. And he let the woman to understand his own terms. Hey, I don’t love. And I don’t hate. In want to safeguards my heart. And now he is enjoying his life after separation. But any time he thinks about his kid he feels the hurt of separation.

Come to think of it. Separation is far better than everyday abuse. Everyday violence. Every time infidelity and other kind of life drama.

Dear men, you have only one life to live. Live it well.